When we married, I signed a prenup which he designed, saying he would set up a trust and upon his death give me lifetime ...

We think that is overkill for one weekend and would overshadow each event that should have their own special time.

Dear Disrespected: Your mileage may vary (quite literally) but making a 10-hour trip for the party and then, say, a few weeks ...

My niece suggests that we have the 100th birthday party on Sunday, the day after the wedding. We think that is overkill.